Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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