I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
