im about as happy as oj after his trial
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
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