Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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