No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
