I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
