nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
