I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
