He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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