Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
