my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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