I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
