thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
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