Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
