Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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