OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
