hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
