There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
