You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize