I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
