ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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