I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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