evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
