He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize