OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Randomize
