i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Randomize
