So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
