Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Randomize
