So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Randomize
