Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
