it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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