tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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