Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
