so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize