Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize