God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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