he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
