i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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