Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Randomize
