brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
This is the high leading the old right now
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
