I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize