Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
