I hate your face
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
My dick has a subreddit
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Randomize
