Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
