Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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