I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
