i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
