areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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