from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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