he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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