Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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