Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
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