I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize