I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
