I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Randomize
