I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Randomize
