Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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