i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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