i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
