i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Randomize
